i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
