people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
She needs sedatives and a leash
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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