Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Randomize
