Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
