she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
