My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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