She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
