okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
