we're blogging at a bar
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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