She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
