No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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