So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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