Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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