I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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