but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
