Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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