But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
