Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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