so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
