Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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