dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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