found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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