For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
