FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
