Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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