I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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