After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
