Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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