hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
