Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Panties = found
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