All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
