Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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