So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Well I just put wine in my tea
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
