And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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