It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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