Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
When are your genitals available?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
