Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
he fucked my hip out of place.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
