Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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