My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
