"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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