he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
