hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
