I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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