one might say we're banned from that church
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
