sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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