I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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