i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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