You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you have to choose: penises or morals?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
