My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
