Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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