next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
We're too hungover to prance.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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